“The road just seems to call, it’s like an old time friend… needs a little visit now and then.” –Susan Grace
I think this is the main reason that I choose to live alone and on the road.
When I’m on the road, in a new place, I wake up every morning and weave the perfect day. I might wake up in the desert and ask myself what I want today, and the answer might be to find some life, and I might spend most of the day wandering through the desert following tracks of the little rabbits and mice that live there, and then I might find some crazy wild pigs. Or I might wake up in a city and decide to find a coffee shop and write all day, and it might make me wildly happy.
No matter what it is, I wake up every day aware of the balance of things, of what I want in my life that day and how I will create it.
When I’m in one place too long, or often just when I visit people, waking up is different. I wake up and there is no deciding what to do, there is not consciousness. There is just going into my friends house and doing whatever it is that I do with that friend. Or maybe there’s no house, but what I do just follows from what I’ve done before in that place. There is no choice and no careful intention, because it just unfolds around my mental geography of that place. I will go for days, weeks even, without thinking about what I’m doing.
I know some people can be that self-aware and conscious of their intention while staying in one place. Maybe someday I’ll be able to, too. But until then I’ll stay on the road.