New Laptop

I should have listened to Esther and done it back when the Gateway first broke.

Last night I graced a gentleman with my company for the night. He owns an oil company and I could not resist the goldmine of a sociological train wreck that is me in this crazily Christian town, in the middle of an oil boom, in a hotel room with an oil company owner. I thought I would learn something about oil companies, and I think I did, though I don’t think I can articulate it just yet except that perhaps it has more to do with beer and cocaine than I’d thought. Also, it was cold outside and the heat’s going out on the van (vacuum compression, Possum says), and me and Bro enjoyed the warm hotel room.

He’s a very generous gentleman and he gave me, among other things, a thousand dollar walmart gift card. Which I promptly used to buy a Dell Inspiron. It’s got two gigs of memory, and a hundred sixty gig hard drive. I remember when hard drives were two gigs! It seems to have a built in webcam, too, though I haven’t explored that yet. I also got a new inverter (now I’ve got two), a laptop carrier, one of those cool compartmentalized little travel bags that I’m obsessed with, some fake eyelashes, a lug wrench, and copious amounts of fancy olives, artichokes, and pesto. Turns out it’s not hard to spend $969 at walmart. Which, all things considered, is a rather hilarious number.


  1. Tara,
    Congratulations on your new computer! Hope it makes your life a bit easier/better. (I’m a firm believer in the ability of artichokes and good olives to do that, to, so you have a multi-pronged approach!)
    Now available with extra irony: one of the three links at the bottom of this post is to an offensive article titled “Strip Clubs: A Harsh Job. Learn about the harms and working conditions of strip clubs.”
    It’s on a site about a town in which I used to live (where my *On Our Backs* subscription got delivered just fine…)
    Yee-haw. -Tatya

  2. you go girl. i am so happy for you. there was enough left over for a new harmonica. and a capo. i’ve lost my capo……

  3. Hey Tatya…that is ironic especially since I’m from Northampton which is hailed as ‘Lesbianville’ by 20/20 after doing an expose on the town some years ago!

  4. Oh and Tara…good on you for your walmart windfall! I’m thrilled for you!

    So now, please pass the olives…

  5. yay new computers, i hope this one is a little more rugged than your last, nothing worse than having a computer break down when its one of your main connections to the world

  6. I guess you subsequently, literally, and figuratively did to Gateway what you named your previous post. 😀

  7. Tatya –

    The NoPornNorthampton link is hilarious! Not that the content is so funny, but the fact that the link made it all the way here. I currently live in that little town (where we mourn the demise of On Our Backs).

    You should know that two things happened in response to the NoPornNorthampton campaign:

    1) The town virtually ignored them, and built the fucking big-box porn shop anyway.

    2) It started a counter movement called MoPornNorthampton.

    “MoPornNorthampton is a watchdog group dedicated to open discussion regarding the often questionable tactics of pro-censorship websites such as NoPornNorthampton. We actually don’t care one way or the other about pornography.”

    Sometimes, I really really like this town.

    Oh, and Tara, congrats on your new laptop!

  8. Be careful out there.

    $1,000 for the night doesn’t sound like stripping, it sounds like… something more than stripping.

    And if that town smells evil to you, the cops are hassling you, it is Bible-infested, and beer and cocaine make the oil business go, then it doesn’t seem like being there is leading you anywhere healthy. You’re probably better off starting up the Astro and finding a saner place to be.

  9. Hey Laurie –

    Really? What about noho says “Paris”? When I think of noho, I think of Carhartt dykes with babies and grilled cheese with fresh beet juice. 😛


  10. Yeah :

    I didn’t want to say anything …. but I would feel so much better knowing that you didn’t do something more than dancing and conversation with the cocaine dude. I will still read the blog and support you from afar either way . So …. tell us you didn’t already. Is this some kind of a test? 😉

  11. Tara –

    Hell yeah you are! Except, from what I understand, the stripping is lousy around here. Still, if you’re ever in town, I’d love to buy you a beet/carrot/ginseng juice and show you Main Street, Lesbianville, USA.


  12. Dane,

    I’m using ‘the Paris of New England” loosely but I can’t think of another New England town that has that ‘power spot…extra spring in your step’ feel coupled with some great coffee houses like Haymarket.

    If you haven’t discovered the Morrocan Tea at Amanous then make a memory and have yourself a little tea ceremony there…you’ll make the moment momentous if you experience it with an insirational friend.

    And as for Tara checking Noho out come to Santa Cruz first because it is ‘the Paris of the Pacific and not only do we have grr-eat coffee houses you can hug a Redwood tree.

    Celebraring Paris everywhere you go!

    I’ll even be your escort…so to speak…big grin!

  13. Laurie –

    The mint tea at Amanouz is on my top 10 list of best culinary experiences in noho. Also on the list: paul and elizabeth’s fresh rolls, haymarket’s grilled cheese, amanouz’s schwarma (for carnivores), fresh pasta’s sweet potato ravioli, fresh pasta’s romesco sauce, haymarket’s Spanking smoothie (best name and flavor ANYWHERE)…the list goes on.

    I love food.


  14. Very Cool Dane,

    We have some similiar tastes in food. Haymarket’s Spanking is the best and I love ordering it just to say “give me a spanking’. Fun!

    I love paul and elizabeth’s whole wheat rolls as well and like scoring when they are available by the bag day old. I also love the fish lunch with tamari sauce with a side of fresh cut french fries.

    Amanuouz mint tea in the genie tea pot and exotic glasses is great treat for a first date or long time lover.

    Too bad I don’t still live there we could eat our way down main street!



Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *