Mr. Buddy

I almost bought one of those Coleman Buddy heaters last night. I sat on the cold tile floor in an aisle at WalMart and pulled it out of the box. It promises instant safety shut offs in the case of tippage or low oxygen. I could totally regain control of my van dwelling life, warm up and play with the dulcimer before bed. Who cares if the heats broken? I can have whatever I want, including heat. It’s such a heady feeling of importance, that I could change my whole world with one purchase. Just pull that wad of cash out of my bra.

But Bro would have to go in his crate so he didn’t knock it over and send the van up in flames. I picture two realities. In one, Bro is in his crate and the heater is on. I sit in front of the heater playing the dulcimer, writing in my writing book and my journal, and cleaning up the van. In the other, I huddle under the blankets with Ishmael and a flashlight, Bro doing his own version of picking up around the van. One must organize ones balls and sticks, you know.

Ishmael actually sounds pretty good, and the heater is a little weird. What’s the point of doing whatever I want if I have to worry about catching on fire? And what would I do with the heater when it wasn’t in use? Would it fit into that space behind the drawers where I’ve already shoved so much stuff?

This is a dilemma that goes straight to the heart of my van dwelling philosophy, I decide, staring down at the tile and trying to remember why I lived in a van. Just as it’s coming to me I’m startled by footsteps at the end of the aisle.

“Hey,” a WalMart Lady ™ said. “Looking at the heaters? Gosh, I thing we all need one now.”

It’s only fifteen below here. It was thirty below when I was broke down in Glenallen and I did just fine without a heater, even if I was cold. “Yeah,” I tell her, “there’s not a lot of heat where I’m staying.”

“Really?” she looks horrified. “Where are you staying.”

I consider naming the parking lot, but instead shrug. “Just around. You know.”

She looks at me strangely before she wishes me a good night and wanders off. Just around is weird, but not as weird as in a van. There’s a little mystique, at least.

I live in a van because of reality. Because truth is life, or the truth will set you free, and when I lived in a nice house with all the usual conventions it sucked the life out of me, all the things you have to do to maintain electricity, running water, pretty grass, a respectable reputation, all these little things that give us the feeling of control. In the van I am warm when it is warm, cold when it is cold, fat in the summer, and leaner in the winter. It might not be the cushiest life in the world, but at least it’s real.

Just say hell no to propane heat, I tell myself as I put it back on the shelf.

Instead I fill up my hot water bottles and run around the parking lot with Bro a few times. When he’s all peed out and my blood is pumping we run back to the van and jump in bed, which has warm patches from the hot water bottles. I read three pages of Ishmael before Bro asks to get in bed. I pull him up next to me and he snuggles under the covers with me. He’s so lonely that he even lets me tuck the covers in around him on the outside edge, and we snuggle under the blankets together.

This is the life.

0 comments

  1. I know just what you mean. Every “improvement” I make to my cabin also takes something away.

    I have been using a Mr. Heater for two years now to help the wood stove heat the cabin up when it is very cold. It shuts off if you tip it over and is suppose to shut off with low oxygen. I live in a small cabin with many leaking windows so I feel pretty save with it. I might not if I lived in a van.

    I have it hooked up to a 20lb tank from a hose that runs through a hole I drilled in the floor. But it can also run off of disposable canisters.

    I took care of my neighbors dog for a week. At first the dog was afraid of it and then it got so it loved it.

    Somethings I don’t like about it are: it puts a lot of moisture in the air and fogs up the windows. It also puts a film on the windows so I have to wash my windows every week. Sometimes it kind of smells sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it quits working and I have to clean it with canned air.

    It might be nice to heat up your van while your dog and you go for your walk and then turn it off when you get back.

    I knew a guy that lived in a small sailboat. He made a small wood stove out of an old 20lb propane tank. Having a smoke stack coming out of your van would probably not be very stealthy but wood heat is so beautiful.

    Good luck with the winter,

    -crow

  2. i laughed right out loud at the picture of bro cleaning the van while you read ishmael under the covers. 😀

    i am so glad to read this post. when i woke up this morning, at about 5:30, my first thought was of whether you were warm. i’m channeling your posts now…..

  3. Hey Tara 🙂

    I love reading your adventures, pretty much daily. Just a quick question for you. With you being mobile, and with the cool weather, why aren’t you dancing in Southern California or Texas, and then come back north in the summer? Totally alleviates the coldness problem? Take care !

  4. And I’m dreaming your knitting, Kate.

    Mags, I just kept forgetting to drive south, I guess. I’m dense like that.

  5. OK, I have book marked your blog. For some reason I keep coming back to read your adventures. I use a MR. buddy sometimes in the hunting blind…I would not use it inside your van..no way would i trust a $50 heater to tell me there is little oxygen left…course you could always get a canary…like the miners 😉

  7. Tara, I love how you’ve made the simplest things sound so… wonderful. Reading this makes me want to step outside, and enjoy the sun on my skin and the breeze blowing through my hair. 🙂

  8. It’s getting warm in New Orleans and the magnolia’s will come into full bloom right around the time the tourists flood the place for Jazz fest…it’s tourist season there now…just sayin’ 😉

    have you read any Rosi Braidotti?

  9. I think Crow has a good point …perhaps you could run it while you’re not in the van to maintain a decent temperature and then turn it off when you are inside. But then as you mentioned you have to store the heater (and also the fuel) somewhere. No easy answers but heartily agree with CarGuy about not trusting a $50 heater to react to low oxygen.

  10. I spent quite a bit of time thinking about how to provide heat in your situation. Mostly as I sat in my hot tub last night – yes I realize that’s kind of sick.

    Anyway, I think you need to look to electric heat, not gas. Here are some of the things I came up with – perhaps some others can add to it.

    Electric blanket – This is the best I have come up with. Many of them have timers. At the least, you could run it once as you go to sleep. It wouldn’t be too tough to cobble together a timer that would cycle it on and off.

    Deep cycle battery – You can get over 150 full discharge/charge cycles from a deep cycle battery. Given the price of $150 for the best of the best deep cycle battery, let’s say it’s $1 per charge. Not too bad.

    Charging the battery – Depending on the load of the blanket, you might not fully discharge the battery each night. In that case, I think that charging the battery from your van’s alternator would be fine. Worst case, you could upgrade your alternator. If you charge via the alternator, the solution would be seamless – it charges as you drive around. Bonus credit – if the load of the blanket is low enough – you might be able to go solar.

    Battery location – A battery shouldn’t be placed in the interior of the vehicle. If it is, then it should be in a properly vented battery box. Not being real familiar with your van… I’m not sure if you could add a second battery under the hood. You might be able to upgrade your single battery to a large deep cycle….

    Cold – Batteries don’t perform at their best in the cold – I’m not sure what the impact would be…

    If you could find someone with the correct skills, this would be about a day worth of work.

    Disclaimer – I am not an engineer by trade. Do not follow my advice without consulting a real expert.

    Cheers,

    Noggle

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