Today I drove aaaalll the way up here, and now I’m stuck on Indian time. This isn’t derogatory, or even a bad thing. It’s just slow and impulsive. Which is good. I’m a slow impulsive person, and I’m working on patience.

I have to wait for the guy who’s selling me the boat to fix it. He’s a good guy, and I trust that he’s selling me a good boat. I think I’ve been down south too long tho, because some part of me is like “ohmygod whatthefuck how many weeks has it been why can’t you just fucking fix it?!?” I think if I stay north that part of me will get over it and chill out soon.

Tomorrow (ha, today) I’m going to go over there and hopefully motivate subtly without offending. It seems like we probably need a part from town, a few hours away, and I guess maybe I’ll make the trip tomorrow. Or maybe he’ll just take me up the river in his other boat and leave me there. Hard to say.

I got a wonderful gift from a very incredibly generous person: a .45 colt automatic. It’s a little, um, extra fatal for me, but you never know when my father will get the impulse to track me down and try to kill me again. So it’s good to have protection. I hadn’t shot a handgun in a long time, since my crazy LA days, so I took it out to the shooting range when I got here and fired it into the dark a couple times. Turns out, it’s like riding a bike, comes right back. Has a lot less kick than I’d expected. I still can’t decide whether to pack it around stuck in my belt all the time, or hide it under the bed.


  1. Have you posted anywhere on this journal about your former, crazy life, or do you prefer not to make it public?
    Been reading your words for several months now, frequently awed and entertained.

  2. Don’t put it under the bed! that’s the first place anyone will look for it! However, it should be within reach so look for a picture frame big enough to mount it in back of. Or see if you can rig up a holder behind a bedside table.Be sure to get a cleaning kit and have the guy at the range show you how to use it-clean guns are reliable guns!

    As for carrying it- that all depends on your personal level of comfort and safety as well as the prevailing gun laws wherever you are- some places it’s a big deal but here in NY you’d better be a cop or have a permit or you’ll be busted. I don’t think it’s a bad idea for a cabin in the woods but then again, you’ve gotten along in a van for a while so maybe you can manage.

    Never pull or point a gun at Anyone unless you are prepared to shoot them! Once pulled, if the person isn’t listening or backing off, Beware! Be Prepared! If you feel that your Life is threatened-do what you have to.

  3. A 1911 is a solid, reliable firearm that has proven its reliability in just about every climate, including arctic conditions. A good holster (and belt to support it) will make it much easier to carry.

    You could do a lot worse for a sidearm.


  4. anonymous, you know I can see your IP. Pot, kettle. LOL

    If you don’t like my blog, don’t read it. It’s not hard. 😉

  5. I love someone commenting on fact checking posting as anonymous.

    Hey, can you say anything about your governer? The pro-life stuff is freaking me out and I’m thinking you have first-hand experience of her politics, no?

  6. Hypatia, probably, but I guess you’d hafta dig.

    Bill, under the bed was a joke. If I was really going to hide it under the bed, I wouldn’t tell the whole internet. I have a cleaning kit, there is no guy at the range, and I’m aware of the laws here. But thanks for the lecture.

    Steelheart, yeah, I know it’s a really good gun. I’ve just always been nervous of automatics. I’m getting over it though.

    Susan, thanks! Um, wanna pinch me? 🙂

    Sylvia, I don’t believe in government and don’t really keep up with it. I think there’s a lot of bad stuff about Palin, but I don’t really know.

  7. I apologise if you thought I was lecturing. Many folks that have a gun don’t know how to shoot,clean or store a weapon safely. There are far too many accidental discharges for anyone to say otherwise. I was only trying to be helpful.

  8. There’s no such thing as an accidental discharge … only negligence.

    Packing.org seems to be down, you could head over to thehighroad.org for advice concerning laws and such.
    A full sized .45 (model 1911?) can be big and bulky for carrying with you around the clock, so you should look into a proper holster.

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