People keep asking me to write about Sarah Palin or Wasilla. I don’t know Sarah Palin. I don’t keep up with politics. I don’t want a president and I refuse to vote for one. I did vote for the second time ever a couple weeks ago on ballot measures, because I do know that it’s wrong to put cyanide in water and that aerial genocide is wrong.

This is what I know about Sarah Palin: her husband works on the oil feilds. She gave everyone an extra grand in their permanent funds. She wants to sell off ANWR to the highest oil bidders. She wants to make birth control illegal.

I drive through Wasilla a lot. It’s yuppieville. The impression that most non-Alaskans seem to have of it is, well, wrong. It’s basically part of the big big city that is Anchorage (the rest of us call Anchorage little Amerikkka, because it is so different from the rest of Alaska in every way that we don’t even think it belongs here – we are elitists) but set off to the side by about forty minutes. It used to be kind of quaint, but now it has McDonalds, Home Depot, Lowes, Fred Meyers, KFC, Arbys, etc. Most people don’t live anything resembling subsitance lifestyles there. They are rich people with garages full of snow machines and boats and other expensive toys, and on their days off they like to either try to save your soul or take their noisy expensive toys out in the woods and try to kill things. That, of course, is a huge generalisation – I’m not going to disclaimer it, just take it however you want.

I lived near Wasilla, in Houston, for a few months when I was five. It was the begining of my mom trying to move us out of the bush and into a town. I only remember two things. The first was that this old woman in the village had told my dad that town food was made out of flavored and retextured cardboard, and that we would all starve. My dad believed her and would make me eat huge amounts of food while my mom was at work, crying all the time that that white bitch was going to starve his own child to death (he was, of course, white too.) The other thing I remember was when a moose was stomping on one of our dogs outside. My dad put me up on the kitchen counter and told me to stay inside no matter what, and then he went outside and grabbed a long spruce pole that he used to hit the moose with until it ran away.

All of this is un-enlightening. I know.

I did get two emails about the Palins that are more enlightening. The first was to my whore email:

Hello, I am a political reporter with the National Enquirer doing a story on your governor and republican nomination Sara Palin. I am following up on a story we will be running about Todd Palin her husband. There has been reports of him using your service, and others like it. Would you like to comment on this before we run the story on Monday about you and him meeting?

I’m tempted to answer it and say something crazy. No, I never met Todd Palin, but George Bush paid me one million dollars to have a threesome with him and an alien that he’s hiding in the white house under his bed.

The relevent email, though, was one of those forwarded things but also very legitimate and ended up appearing in the Anchorage newspaper. The note at the top of the email said to forward far and wide, but not to post it on any websites. I want to respect that, but it is on the Anchorage Daily News site, so…

go read it.


  1. I just started reading your blog earlier this week, but I can already tell you sound like someone who I would like to be like someday (or, at least, have a long lunch with someday).

    For years I’ve entertained thoughts of living on my own terms in ways that my family and many of my friends would never consider. I’m not sure what that way is yet, but I can tell I’m on the way to figuring it out. I used to have dreams of living in a van with everything I own smashed into little boxes, and I never thought that anyone else ever even thought about living that way.

    I can see my own path forming before my eyes when I read about yours, and it’s not even that my goals and desires appear similar — it’s that you DO it, that you defy “conventional” happiness and that you are happy. All I’ve ever wanted is to confirm that it is possible, and now I’ve got more affirmation that, indeed, it is.

    If you ever do come down to the Midwest for a while, you ought to stop by central Ohio.

  2. People are so funny about some of our lesser known states. I’m originally from Oregon and people act like it’s a small village. Do I know so and so? They’re from Oregon, too! Wow! So, I think asking you about Sarah Palin falls into that category, but this is a nice response and link to a thoughtful article. Thanks!

  3. Funny Stuff I live in MassiveChewShits… and I have never met Ted Kennedy that elitist prick Johnathan Forbes Kerry or Our own Mini Obama one of the absolute proofs that folks who vote need to get a clue before they hand over their checkbooks to some social experimenter who has so darn much money that they have no idea how a homeless guy lives in a van or even how production workers live in an apartment they can barely afford…
    Thank you fro addressing this question,, Folks from away try but seldom really have a clue, and the sheer size of your state would make it kinda funny unless you were seriously politically motivated,,, and serious political motivation has ruined many groups on the internet…

  4. Hey Tara! Thanks for the this post and for leading me to the letter in the paper. I’m definitely posting your post on my tumblr (seedling.tumblr.com) so people can read about you, then her. Finally, a some numbers to back my vehement dislike of this candidate’s candidate.
    Much Love

  5. I know people who think they know better than you how you should live, and they always vote. When they vote, and you don’t, their candidates can pass laws that change your life. If you don’t like government, please consider voting libertarian (I say that as a registered democrat). Otherwise you don’t have much complaint if you wake up in Jesusland or CorporateLand some day. Just my $0.02.

  6. She wants to make birth control illegal.

    Actually, she wants to make abortion illegal. I believe she’s said she supports birth control. I can’t stand her or her position on abortion, either, but I don’t think using erroneous information to discredit her does anyone any good.

  7. Alexa, actually, here in Alaska when I was substituting in a high school health class last winter I was specifically told that we are not allowed to teach about any form of birth control because of Sarah Palin. I don’t know if that’s a policy or a law or a political climate, but making it illegal to talk about birth control seemed to me like she wanted to make birth control illegal.

  8. I am a teacher myself and I say screw Sarah Palin and her anti birth control abstinance save your soul holy roller bullshit.
    A teacher could get in trouble for telling kids the TRUTH God help us all, and she is a disgrace to women, to hockey, and to the great white north.
    I liked the way you describe the town, I can picture it right this minute.
    I grew up in a house without a furnace on the border with Canada, we heated with what wood we could find….
    People like her?
    She spent tax money to put heated seats in a hockey rink while kids in Alaska go without…
    Screw her.

  9. Hello from a reader in Iowa. With all respect I leave this comment. Again and again we, your readers, are exposed to your hubris in regard to being from Alaska, a state you see as being somehow morally superior to what you call “Amerikkka,” or “the lower forty-eight.” You call it pride, but it only reads as ill-informed hubris and small-town chauvinism, especially when one understands it against the actual facts. Facts must not be your particular cup of tea, seeing that you admit in this thread that you prefer ignorance over awareness. You say you don’t pay attention to politics as if this is something be proud of! Hobostripper, ignorance is never anything to be proud of. You may not like politics, but rest assured that political happenings do indeed effect your life.

    As far as Alaska being somehow morally superior to everyone else down here in “Amerikkka”- you should do some research. I’m sure you are aware that Alaska is a Red State and has voted Republican in almost every election since it became a state. The majority voted for Bush in the last election. That’s very morally superior, huh? Also, just this August the majority of Alaskans voted yes to Aerial Hunting of Wolves. A large constituency voted no, but the majority rules and now wolves are being murdered. Like anywhere else in “Amerikkka,” your beloved state has a huge population of conservative ignoramuses trying to kill the planet. Also, 75 percent of Alaskans are for opening up the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve for drilling, a move which would greatly compromise the environment and the integrity of wildlife. If Alaskans are so much better than all of us down here- why are they consistently voting yes to these destructive policies? Why is Sarah Palin your governor? Someone doesn’t become governor unless they are approved by a majority.

    You say “Amerikkka,” but I’m sure you are aware that Alaska is a state built upon a bloody history of colonization and murder of native peoples- just like anywhere else in the US. In fact, as a white woman- you and your family, if you live in Alaska, benefit from this legacy of racism and colonization just as any of us do down here in evil “Amerikkka.” You are living on stolen land, my dear. Do some research on the demographic information of your holier-than-thou state. The Alaska Natives live in basic apartheid and poverty compared to whites and are, to this day, fighting for basic human rights.

    I could go on and on, but I won’t. You should reconsider your pro-ignorance position and begin to be involved with that great thing called awareness. Especially as a representative of sex-workers. My wife is a dancer and she finds you to be an embarrassment after this recent post. Get involved. It might help you think past your chauvinism and blind pride to see the real political environment brewing up there in the last frontier. Wake up and get involved or those who are involved might rob your new, beautiful riverside home right from under your heels.

  10. When I was in school and had to take those standardized tests every year, I used to have a really hard time with the reading comprehension tests. I am a very good reader, and had been reading several levels above grade since 1st grade. I’ve gone on to get a degree in English. I’m not trying to brag, just to indicate that I feel like I have a fairly good grasp of the English language.

    But every time I would get to the reading comprehension part of the test, I would read through the paragraph and be pretty sure I understood. And then I would look at the questions with their four little multiple choice options, and I would be like, “Did they accidentally get the questions mixed up? These questions don’t have anything to do with the paragraph I just read.”

    I sort of feel the same way about mark’s response to this entry. Did he respond to the wrong entry? I’ve gone back and re-read the post, and I’m still not following. There’s nothing in there about choosing ignorance. In fact, she indicates that she is involved in politics at a local level. She doesn’t say anything about moral superiority, or even indicate what it is she means by the triple k designation in her spelling.

    And why in the world would one dancer be embarrassed about another dancer’s political thinking?

    The whole thing just makes me wonder what this response was really a response to…since it didn’t seem to be directly related to the post it was connected to…or even really to the person it was directed at.

  11. As usual, we are having our election here in October in Canada. I don’t usually pay any attention to it myself in typical Canadian fashion.

    Have fun in your new home.

  12. Mark, your elections are a system of denial. If you want to stop the people in power from killing the world, you’re going to have to do something besides vote for one or the other of them. Unless you’re actually doing something real, don’t bash me for not engaging in your denial. Trust me, the things that I do are a hudred times more effective than you voting for democrats.

    And I am a single, individual sex worker. I do not represent all sex workers any more than you represent all men. Statistically, I’m probably very un-representative of dancers.

  13. Deanna, yeah, I’ve been getting a lot of weird out of context comments lately with Pittsburgh IP’s, mostly on way old posts. This one actually has an IA IP and is on a current post, so I think Mark might be for real.

  14. http://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/idUSN1536910620080715

    the pro lifers are starting to talk
    about reclassifying some birth control methods as abortion, including the pill
    and its “sisters” such as norplant. I have not researched it much, but there
    is talk on the pro-life front that hormone based birth control CAUSES
    abortion ……….

    we live in a scary time …

    Go Google and see for yourself.

    Here are the key words I used: abortion including birth control pill

  15. I loved you blog. I loved your spirit. Both will be missed.

    That said, I have to also admit I’ve very disappointed to read you’re not going to vote. “I don’t keep up on politics” sounds a lot like a copout to m e. If you live in America, our political system and current administration affect your life every waking, hell every sleeping, moment. Like it or not. Admit it or not.

    I thought you were someone who cared about the planet, more than 99% of the people on it actually. And I thought you were someone who cared about your fellow dancers… but if you don’t vote, your basically saying you don’t care what happens to either of them. Or yourself!

    Because if you expect the economy to hold up at all, to be there for you when you if/when you need to go back to dancing to get by, or to keep you precious piece of land, you better hope the right man gets into the White House, and the right congress gets put in place as well.

    The economy is crumbling and the planet is being ravaged and YOU can help stop it. It’s unconscionable to say what you’ve said. That you don’t “want a president” … you don’t live in that world. You DO have a duty to this planet and to the people you share it with.

    I don’t mean to sound harsh. But I care about this world too. And I prove it by doing more than just writing pretty prose about it. I vote. I educate myself, and then I use that knowledge to better the world.

    I thought you were that type of person too. I still think you are. So, I just don’t understand your decision and I’m begging you to reconsider. Please vote for Obama this election. It’s the right thing to do. Choosing not to decide, is STILL making a choice, and it’s the wrong one.

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