The stripper intelligence network

I’ve been on the phone with strippers all day. Words got out that I’m working in the little big city, and they want to know how the money is. In return, they tell me how it is where they are. I’m now up to date on the stripper money in eight different clubs in four different states.

Back at my little club it’s been so-so. The money’s not as good, but a lot of girl are leaving so the odds are a little better. As usual this time of year, the drama’s running high as strippers fight over customers, prices, and counter space in the dressing room.

In the midwest, a dramafull bad vibe club has fired a bunch of dancers, resulting in an influx of strippers with bad attitudes at one of the most pleasant clubs I’ve ever worked in.

In that little drunken Christian town strippers have finally been banned from the Super 8, the last hotel that allowed them. The problem there is dancers from Minneapolis (who are, generally, cheap hookers) having guys lined up, yes lined up, outside their hotel rooms after hours. Eventually the hotels ban all strippers, and all the hotels have finally done it. The club has reacted by getting their own stripper apartment, and I wonder how that’s gonna work out with the hookers. Are they gonna be bringing their customers to the stripper apartment, or are they gonna be out of business? It would only be good for the club if the cheap stupid hookers stopped booking there. Seriously, fucking for a hundred bucks drives down the value of lapdances, and how stupid do you have to be to have guys line up outside your hotel room for illegal activities?

In another midwestern town a friend is mad at one club for sneaking their fees over on her, and has moved onto another club. It lacks a crock-pot friendly dressing room, but the money is just as good and she’s not being cheated, so she’s happy.

In Florida an awful manager has been messing up a good club for my friends for several months. The best bartender they’ve ever had has finally quit over it, and my friends have vowed to replace the awful manager at the upcoming stripper convention in Vegas.

I love this. If women ran the world, they would be strippers, and this is how they’d do it: with the stripper intelligence network.


  1. A friend of mine knew I would enjoy your writing and sent me your link. He was right!

    I bet that place in Florida is where I used to work.

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