I used to have a little keychain thermometer that I kept on the door to Broâ€™s crate. In the desert, I used it to show concerned citizens that it was not really one hundred degrees in the van and that ice + insulation did in fact make it cool where Bro was. Somewhere along the way that thermometer got lost and even though I never got another one I always seem to know what the temperature is within a couple seconds of waking up. How? Well, if I wake up andâ€¦
Roll out of bed and donâ€™t lose my breath for a second: itâ€™s warmer than 15 degrees! Tropical!
My head is not under the blanket: Itâ€™s warmer than 5 degrees in Alaska, 10 degrees in more humid places.
My head is under the blanket: Itâ€™s colder than 5 (or 10) degrees. Getting chilly.
My head is under the blanket, and when I go to poke a hand out I encounter a mess of wet condensation in my hair: Itâ€™s colder than ten below (I donâ€™t know what this is in more humid places). Better start the van cause itâ€™s gonna need a long time to warm up.
My head is under the blanket, and when I go to stick a hand out I encounter a frozen, brittle mess of hair: itâ€™s colder than twenty below. Cross your fingers that the van was plugged in.
Broâ€™s in bed despite the down comforter, and he doesn’t get up when you mention breakfast: itâ€™s really damn cold. Just stay in bed.