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Stripper Self Defense

February 21st, 2008 · No Comments

The song starts and I lean into him, breasts in his face, and jiggle for a second before I pull back and push my dress down. It’s an art, the way it comes down, and then I lean back into him, brushing his hand away from his thigh before I slide my leg along it.

“Wow,” he says. “You’re a professional.”

“What?”

“The way you moved my hand. You definitely know what you’re doing.”

I’m not sure what he was implying. Was he trying to cop a feel by leaving his hand there? It wasn’t in the normal asshole pervert position, open palmed toward the inside. If I didn’t know what I was doing would he try to take advantage?

I’ve unfortunately seen and heard of too many newbie strippers getting taken advantage of lately. It’s true that if you’re a stripper, people will try to touch you. Depending on where you are, this may happen less than it did when you were a waitress, or it might happen all the time. If it’s all the time, please consider changing your stripping location.

It’s very important for strippers, and any kind of sex workers, to be able to take control of a new situation quickly and direct it in ways that make you and the customer both happy. Equally important is the fact that at any strip club you can end the dance and keep the money if the customer breaks the rules (really, any club – I’ve never heard of one that didn’t have this policy). As you dance more you’ll learn to do this sublty with most customers, and that’s what I’m going to talk about here, but as a newbie you should never hesitate to just end the dance and walk away.

This is going to be an inventory of all the little barely conscious habits I’ve developed in regards to mens hands (wow, that sounds bad. Oh well: it is what it is.) and manouvers you might like to consider if you’re just starting out. If you’ve got your own, go ahead and list them in the comments.

When accepting a tip in the side of your thong put your other hand firmly over the protectables to prevent a hand slipping down the string into the thong.

When leaning over to take a tip from a mouth with your breasts (I know, it’s such a trashy move most places. But there are places where it’s not, I swear.) push their arms down on the tip rail in front of them, and then place your hands on the other side of their arms and bend your elbows. Tada, they can’t reach up and grab a boob!

When doing any other manouver involving a dollar in their mouth hold their hair so they can’t move their head so as to prevent random lickings.

When sitting down on a couch to wait for the next song cuddle up next to them and cross your outside leg over your other leg and one of theirs. Pull your inside arm towards your chest, and cross your outside arm across your chest to stroke his chest. Mission accomplished: friendly, grope free cuddling till your song starts.

When sitting on their lap to wait for the next song sit sideways, cross your leg towards him, and do the same trick as above with your arms.

When leaning in with your breasts near their face watch for signs of a licker. Many of them will let you know right away by wagging their tongue as if they’re trying to catch flies. Hold the hair (or ears) if a licking seems likely.

When dealing with octopus hands hold them over his head in a sexy way, place them firmly on your thighs (if you want them there), or make him sit on them.

Before sitting down check for hands. Especially in air dance clubs, guys will casually leave a hand on their leg in hopes of you brushing against it or sitting on it. If there’s a hand, just casually and gracefully brush it out of the way.

When grinding on a licker lean forward and to the side to breath heavily in his ear. Now he’s licking your shoulder. Hold the hair to prevent his head and tongue turning towards your ear.

When grinding on a groper put your hands on his shoulders/chest and tuck your elbows in to block access to the sides of your breasts. Lean forward to prevent front gropage.

When standing on the couch so he can see your cunt hold the hair to prevent random licking.

When leaning back on a groper take his hand in yours and run it down your side. Sexy, and prevents gropage.

And of course look before you sit.

Tags: Stripping

0 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Mike // Feb 21, 2008 at 9:47 pm

    I’m new to your blog and love it. I like reading about people that blaze their own paths through life.

    As a man who sometimes patronizes clubs, I almost always sit on my hands unless I’m told otherwise when I get a dance. I’ve always assumed that it would be more comfortable for everyone if the dancer didn’t have to worry that I was going to try to grope her.

  • 2 Tess Madrone // Feb 21, 2008 at 10:24 pm

    Tara, I too am new to your blog and I love it! Thank you for being genuine and telling the world the way your life is. I too am a sex worker as well as use to be a wandering woman of the wilderness and seeing your very unique blog inspired me to post in honor of you. I hope you enjoy and I hope to cross paths with you one of these days.

  • 3 i_muse // Feb 21, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    It was easier to avoid that sort of stuff before lapdances…Glad you have it worked out and impressed that you share it so well…may it travel from your page to newbies eyes.

  • 4 Lizzy // Feb 22, 2008 at 2:58 am

    Oh, man, look before you sit. I’m LOLing at this from the memory of what happened to me the other night…

  • 5 joe // Feb 22, 2008 at 3:42 am

    wow, strip club kung fu.

    grasshopper, when you can take the pastie from my hand, it will be time for you to leave

  • 6 ShanaRose // Feb 22, 2008 at 9:54 am

    One of the things I love about your blog is how well you pull out concrete, written tips based on pretty subconscious actions. It is a talent and I admire it.

  • 7 magdala // Feb 22, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    Tara, please consider giving a few “do’s and don’ts” for women customers. I swear there are too many times I am unsure of how to react or behave. I really hate being awkward! Any insight you can offer would be greatly appreciated.

    BTW, if you make it to Eastern Iowa, Western Illinois or South Western Wisconsin…let me know! Shoot, if it’s anywhere within a reasonable drive let me know!

  • 8 Fifty-One-Fifty // Feb 25, 2008 at 7:21 pm

    Being a stripper is a tough job…

  • 9 Avalon // Feb 25, 2008 at 8:09 pm

    I love how you describe it all so matter-of-factly…with a touch of vulgarity 😉

  • 10 ryan // Feb 26, 2008 at 10:00 am

    Interesting combo, stripping and frugal living. This post is kinda amusing. I think that dealing with that issue with tact would be essential to keeping a good customer base. U are there to get cash from these dudes and their there to get sexual gratification from u. Licking seems wierd in this context, eww.

    Seems like it is a fact of life. Cops deal with crooks, Bar tenders deal with drunks and Strippers deal with dudes who want to touch them.

  • 11 Debra // Feb 27, 2008 at 1:56 am

    Excellent list, but as Magdala said, what about for the ladies?

  • 12 Mike // Feb 5, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    Of course, guys reading this get some new ideas. 😉

    Kidding… but it’s interesting that so much of this is to prevent groping while you’re grinding into the guy’s lap. In most of the clubs around here groping is allowed…

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