Hobo Stripper header image 2

Stripper forever!

July 14th, 2007 · No Comments

I realize I’ve bitched about a couple customers and maybe been a little negative lately. I really love dancing, and when I bitch about bad customers it’s because they’re so different from the customers I’m accustomed to. I hope no one’s gotten any other impression.

I love almost everything about dancing. There’s the practical stuff, the ability to work (almost) anytime and anywhere, but there’s a deeper spirituality of it too.

I don’t have to worry when I start to run out of money while out adventuring in the world. I just jump on stripclublist.com or the stripperweb reviews or call a couple traveling dancer friends. Within minutes I know where the local clubs are, what the earning potential is, what the contact level is, etc. Then I find a place to take a shower and straighten my hair. I pop in a motivational tape and do my make up. Nine times out of ten I can walk into a club and work the same night. The small town clubs that I work in are usually happy just to see a new face. I introduce myself and ask to work and they show me the dressing room. Sometimes I have to audition, which can mean anything from flashing my boobs to dancing on stage for three songs. Every once in a while a club tells me I’m too “thick” for them. Usually they’re very earnest and tell me I should go to the gym and come back in a couple months. I don’t bother to tell them that in a couple months I’ll be a couple states away.

I love that most clubs make about zero effort to tell me what to do. The you’re hired speach generally goes “no drugs, no prostitution.” Here in Alaska it’s “no drugs, no prostitution, no guns in the club.” Some clubs have scheduling guidelines, like you have to be there by 11 to work, or you have to work a weekday to work a weekend. A few clubs want you to be there when they open if you’re working. There are clubs who try to put you on a strict schedule, but I mostly just skip those clubs.

I love that dancing is so much exactly what you make of it. You can abuse your own sexuality. You can be a Goddess. It’s completely up to you ninety percent of the time (cause there are clubs that are just awful, but not that many of them).

I love how real it is. I love that we don’t sit around in suits and make meaningless conversation without eye contact. I get right up in people’s space, sometimes right up in their souls. I sit in their laps and wiggle around. I’m juicy and real.

Even when it’s bad, it’s real. I’ve learned things in strip clubs that I never could have learned sitting in a feminist theory class taking notes. I’ve had drunk pimps tell me that they despise women because of how much power we have and don’t know how to use. Other men have begged to call me mommy or kiss my feet. It’s not socially acceptable, but it’s real and human.

I love the highs, when I make crazy money and have crazy fun. The lows, the nights when I walk out with $23 after 12 hours, have made me a better person.

I love how deep and intimate I can be with complete strangers. I love the way that my realness brings people so fully into themselves. Some people haven’t been really inside themselves in years. Sexuality is like dirt: so scary and the basis of all life. I love taking people there. And I love that they don’t expect to call me in the morning.

I love that the club is set up and structured in a way that whatever I do is valued. I love that I feel absolutely great about being a stripper, when going to school for psychology made me feel icky about myself. I love it when I can use some energy psych or some hypnosis in the champagne room and it runs right together with the lapdances.

Sometimes when I tell people I’m a stripper they tell me that it’s okay because eventually I’ll join the real world, or they say they’re sure it’s a good way to make fast money and then I’ll get out of it. I tell them hell no: I’m a stripper for life.

Tags: Ecofeminist Musings · Stripping

0 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Jo Weldon // Jul 15, 2007 at 5:08 pm

    I’m a stripper for life too! I heart you.

  • 2 Sam from Seattle // Jul 15, 2007 at 5:40 pm

    Wow, it must be wonderful to really love your job. You must be such a great stripper.

    About a week ago I decided to get my first lapdance. Not sure why, but I was intrigued. I got 2 dances with 2 different women.

    Before my first dance I asked the woman how much she liked being a stripper on a scale of one to five. Three, she said without hesitation. I was really surprised. I had assumed that this is a kind of work that you either love or absolutely run away from.

    The first dance was incredible… lapdances didn’t make much sense to me prior to this, but the energy.. it was unbelievable. I felt like we were mere conduits for an energy that erupted from some unknown source, on its way to an equally unknown destination. The “sexuality” of it seemed like an excuse or an afterthought. I was so grateful; it did not matter that we were complete strangers.

    The second one was as bad as the first one was good. The stripper was either insane or a shyster (more the latter, unfortunately, but probably a bit of both). I won’t go into the details of what happened as there’s no point in propagating bad karma. I will say that despite her ability to be extremely seductive I am now certain this girl hated men and is unable to see “customers” as human beings. Oh well. I shouldn’t have let those fake breasts seduce me.

    In retrospect I am glad to have had both experiences because I learned so much. The (metaphoric) Goddess energy can be so wonderful as well as so destructive, but both experiences were very “real”, I suppose.

    But there is one thing that I regret. The insane stripper angrily demanded a large tip, and although I am not exactly stupid and can certainly hold my own, I nonetheless stupidly and unthinkingly handed over the cash (I’m just collecting those learning experiences aren’t I). I dont really care about the money but what annoys me in retrospect is that the insane dancer ended up with double the tip that the first one got. So upsetting. If I end up going back there and seeing first stripper again I am going to rectify this.

  • 3 HoboStripper // Jul 15, 2007 at 6:46 pm

    Jo, wow, I’m so excited that you read my blog! I’ve loved your site for a long time.

    Sam, FWIW you’re in one of the absolute worst strip club scenes in the country (equaled in badness only by Minneapolis and Houston). If you’re ever in Portland you should try a dance there. (PS – ya know why some dancers are psycho bitches? Cause guys like you pay psycho bitches more than sweet Goddesses).

  • 4 RenegadeEvolution // Jul 15, 2007 at 8:57 pm

    love it…stripper for life indeed. It can be fun, and some people just refuse to even consider that…

  • 5 Sam from Seattle // Jul 15, 2007 at 9:18 pm

    HS! Can you elaborate with a sentence or two as to why Portland’s scene is better and/or why Seattle’s scene is so bad?

  • 6 HoboStripper // Jul 16, 2007 at 1:42 am

    Sam, I haven’t danced in either, so my info is all gleaned from my fellow dancers. The Seattle scoop is basically that there’s an expensive ($400?) liscence from the city before you can even dance. Then the clubs have all kinds of rules and schedules AND they charge crazy stage fee’s PLUS taking a percentage of dances. So a dancer’s first $1-200 isn’t even hers, and if she doesn’t make it she leaves in the hole. But the real kicker is that everything you got in those lapdances is legally considered prostitution in Seattle. At any time cops can walk in and arrest a dancer for prostitution (and she’ll have to register as a sex offender!) just for being naked and brushing your leg. So there’s this environment where just walking in the door women are desperate for money and they’re risking getting arrested. I imagine that most of the saner strippers head for greener pastures, and the ones who stick around are really desperate. I hear that this translates into a lot of twenty dolla blow jobs (same risk of arrest as a lap dance!) and/or scamming strippers, just so they can make money beyond the crazy stage fees.

    I can always tell Seattle customers cause they’re rude from the first word and try to bite me, then bitch that for the same price back home they could have gotten a bareback blow job.

    Portland isn’t perfect, but it’s the anti-Seattle, from what I understand. The highest saturation of strip clubs per capita in the whole world (which translates to a lot of dives and a few good clubs, I guess). In PDX they legislate the hell out of us too, but it’s on the club, not the dancer, if anything illegal happens. So PDX lapdances are tame to non-existant and there are amazing stage shows with really talented dancers in a usually laid-back environment. From what I gather, anyways. It’d be a perfect place to kick back and socialize with strippers who aren’t trying to extort you to cover their own extortion, and who really enjoy what they do. Aaand… live sex shows are legal in non-alcohol clubs there now. I’ve been meaning to check that out too. 😈

  • 7 Susan Wayward // Jul 16, 2007 at 1:31 pm

    I dance in Portland, and Tara’s assessment is pretty accurate, except for the part where out of the 50 clubs in PDX, about 10-15 are worth dancing in and at the others a lot of strippers are leaving with $50-$100 a shift. There is still an emphasis on a good stage show at many clubs over selling table dances. Also, many of the customers seem to insist on treating us like human beings.

    The only answer that I can give you for the reason behind the difference between Seattle and Portland is that Washington State is only somewhat politically liberal while Oregon has a very strong libertarian bent. And as for the vast difference between law and practice in WA compared to the actual resemblance in OR, she’s absolutely right that it’s because the club is held liable. If there’s no risk to the club, they will not do anything to regulate dancer activity as long as they are getting their cut of it.

    Oh, and Sam, it was your first time at the club, so don’t beat yourself up. You will have a chance to set your stripper karma right.

  • 8 Double D // Jul 16, 2007 at 8:18 pm

    Thank you so much for this amazing blog, Hobo Stripper.

    You’re a goddess.

  • 9 pinkdomme // Jul 17, 2007 at 10:09 am

    Since I’ve started reading your blog, I’ve realized there’s such a huge range of alternative lifestyles. Sorry for the cliche, but you’ve blown my mind. You have a beautiful energy about you, and you’re following your own path.

    This is sort of odd, but somehow I think you’d get along with an acquaintance of mine, Lee, who you can read about at http://passionandsoul.livejournal.com/ He (formerly she) identifies as a nomadic traveler, spiritual and erotic educator, gender radical, eclectic artist, shaman, and published author. I don’t normally connect other people via blogs, but you both are very passionate free thinkers living the hobo life.

    btw, your photos and descriptions of Alaska are gorgeous!

  • 10 HoboStripper // Jul 17, 2007 at 7:03 pm

    Pinkdomme, thanks for the link! And for the love on your blog (unfortunately I can’t comment on yours cause of the livejournal-ness, or maybe I’m just livejournal confused). Your friend looks awesome, I’ll check him out more soon! 🙂

  • 11 Rhei // Aug 14, 2007 at 1:46 pm

    Tara, I just wanted to say that your blog has helped me re-think some of my stereotyped views of who and what strippers are. I’m sure not all strippers are as complex as you (or write as well), but you’ve shown me a different way of looking at my fellow human beings.

Leave a Comment