Only here.

I’m in the smallest, drunkest, Christianist little town.

The WalMart has a sign saying that it’s open 24/7, except for sunday, “due to the Lord.”

Yesterday I talked to man who (after telling me how he sells meth) could not have a lapdance because it is a sin. Sometimes he spills his own seed, which is also a sin and he prays everyday for forgiveness (hello? you’re in a stripclub?).

I asked a clerk at the local grocery store if they had any organic meat and she said, “Oh, yes! We have soyburgers!”

To top it all off last night I was talking with a man from New York here on business. He was a little shocked at the small townness of it all, and we were talking about the things that only happen here, when he looked up and his eyes got reeeallly big. “Oh. My. God. Is that a sheep?” he said.

Yep. Someone had brought their baby goat into the club and the strippers were passing it around.


  1. LMFAO!!! This is absolutely hilarious. 😀 I am picturing that dancer hitching her baby goat to the pole during her stage set with a leash.

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