Somehow the rumor has circulated in this little town that I’m Russian. The strippers are new every week, and it’s kind of a big deal around here. A lot of people think I have an accent. I swear I don’t have an accent, but if I do it’s Alaskan kind of hybridized with my mom’s hybridized Boston accent. Possibly a little English sounding. So. Russian? Yeah. People keep coming up to me, “oh, you’re the Russian gal.” Maybe somebody just had their geography messed up and thought Alaska was in Russia.
So I was doing my very seductive dancing on stage, and I did my little dollar dance in front of a guy and he said, “woah, you’re a magnetic force.” The guy next to him, who’d already had a private dance from me, said, “yes, she’s like the magnetic force of the magical light of a desert moon.” Yeah, I know it’s a line from a song, but it’s still an awesome compliment.
Of course, then he said, “are you the Russian girl?”
Yeah, that’s me. The Russian magnetic force of the magical light of a desert moon.