this is what it's like when worlds collide

I had the strangest experience yesterday: dinner with my mother and one of my dancer friends at the same time.

By some weird twist of fate my friend the hard core hoe (that’s what she calls herself) and my mom started hanging out together this winter. This is extremely wierd. My mother considers herself to be very conservative, and my friend is, well, a hard core hoe.

I was hanging out with my mom and her husband (he fixed every single thing that was even slighty wrong with my van, which was very awesome) and we all decided to go eat dinner. So I’m driving over there in my van and talking on the phone with my friend, who ended up joining us for dinner with some guy.

“A customer or a friend?” I asked.

“A friend, I swear it’s not a customer,” she said.

He was a nice guy. Dinner was wierd, I didn’t know whether to act like I act around my mom or act like I act around my stripper friends. And my friend kept saying (gasp) bad words in front of my mother! And talking about ass clapping and those kinds of things that I talk about all the time, but not with my mom.

When we left my friend rode with me instead of the guy. They hugged goodbye right by my van and I saw the flash of hundred dollar bills changing hands. Not a customer. Yeah right. My mother would have been so horrified to know that she’d just been along on a paid date. (Don’t worry, she never reads this).

Later we ended up at a club with a guy we both know. Normally not my scene (loud music, drunk people… I better be getting paid!), but I’ve been watching the way my friend is with people and trying to learn from her very wonderful example. She can truley have a conversation with anybody and make them feel special. We were in line for the bar when I started looking around and, gosh, there was my little sister.

I swear just a while ago my lil sis was tiny and cute and so sweet. She’s still really sweet but now she’s all grown up and goes to clubs. She dances pretty damn good, too.


  1. Oh, to be a fly on the wall. At the restaurant and in your van afterwards with your friend.

    Sounds like a good script for a sitcom.


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