Ladies and Gentlemen

I thought I had discovered every fetish. A couple years of stripping took care of the normal ones: feet, stockings, ball kicking, white knights, spit, pee, stuff like that. Further explorations in phone sex, fetish sessions, and a decade or so of stripping took care of the rest: erotic hypnosis, money ripping, watermelon stomping, belly buttons (look, it’s talking!), diapers, electricity, financial domination, etc. I remember the night that I truly thought I’d found every hidden nook of fetishes, sitting in the Champagne Room at Christies Cabaret while a balding business man enthusiastically stroked my ears and explained to me how special ears are. After all, they are the only body part that is all cartilage. No bones. No loose flappy skin. My ears were extra special because I’d never marred them with piercing.

It turns out the world of sexuality is too huge to be completely cataloged by me in just a decade. Last night, sitting with a defense contractor for the gubberment who was hanging out at the club waiting for his cocaine to be delivered, he raised my hand, turned it, stared. I don’t exactly have well manicured girlish hands. I have big indelicate hands. I chew my nails, I wasn’t wearing nail polish, and I might have a few callouses. So I was wondering why the heck he was staring at my hands like this.

Then he turned and stared into my eyes. “God, I’ve never seen hands like this. So beautiful.”

Being, as I am, so inclined to capitalize on the appreciation of any part of my beautiful body I sold him hand dances. The whole time he stared at my hands, turning them, stroking them, and muttering, “Gawd, such big mitts. Like baseball gloves. Oooh, big, sexy mitts.”

I am not making this up.


  1. That’s a great story! I want a man who thinks a woman with big hands that have clearly been working and not just soaking in coco-butter all day is sexy! What a neat guy!

  2. I always thought a woman’s hands were as telling an element of her beauty as as other physical part of her. Eyes, hands, voice … all turn ons for me. As for gazing at palms, life lines, and cuticles, well, that’s more than I’m into.

  3. Ball kicking? (gasp) Who knew that a schoolyard bully’s act of aggression could become a gratifying sexual act. Gee, I can feel my grapes sucking up back into my body as I speak. Jerry: “She had man-hands”. I’ve seen your “mitts” Tara, and they’re nice. Ref: the “tough-get-nails” pic in the archive.
    You’re a gifted writer. Great post!

  4. When I first started dancing and was having a bad night, someone told me “there’s an ass for every seat”

    So now, every night I just look for my ass.

  5. Laugh Fricken Out Loud!!!! 😛 Literally, you always have me out loud and people in the room want to know what I am laughing about 😀 ….. Luv your style! would have loved been there / You always keep all of us feeling like we are there! with your writing style! Hey, btw…. call me when you wake up ….Possible info on a “stripping emergency!” ❗ 😉

  6. Okay, okay. I’ve got to ask: What the heck is/are “white knights”? 👿 (he proffered delicately)

  7. I too learned of a new fetish last night, a clown fetish. Takes all types don’t it?

    Another funny coincidence, m’lady has recently begun calling me “meat mitts” jokingly. I’d like to compare hands with you someday. 😆

  8. LOL Shana, we hafta meat and compare mitts someday.

    Dodger, white knights are just guys who want to save strippers. Save us from selling our souls and all that crap. They get off on being the hero.

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