Dear Strippers

It is tax time again, and if you are using Tara’s Envelope System of Money Management, it’s time to start saving for taxes. This is a really complicated formula. Are you ready? Here it is.

Make another envelope, and write “IRS” on it.

Now, if you’ve worked a lot, and thus have to pay a lot of taxes, put $200 every night you work in it before splitting the rest of your money into the other envelopes.

If you’re a slacker like me, put $100 off the top in it every night, and $200 on nights that you clear $600.

Sometime towards the end of March, find a tax person who works with independent contractors (ie, not H&R). Bring your bank statements and all your work-related reciepts, or a total of what they are. School reciepts too, if you’re a student. Sure you could do your taxes yourself, and you may want to, but unless you’ve done it before a good tax person will save you more then you have to pay them. Also, I think you’re less likely to get audited if you didn’t do your own taxes and if you call yourself something besides stripper.

They’ll be able to give you everything you need to file with the amount that you have to pay. At this point, if you are way behind what you need to pay, it is acceptable to put all your money in your IRS envelope until April 15.


  1. In stripperland it’s always tax time thanks to estimated quarterlies. I wish it was just now. I just had to send in a fat check on January 15th and do so every quarter — for the kind of stripper who pays taxes, remember that as a self-employed person and an independent contractor, you’ve got to make estimated tax payments four times a year.

  2. I know I’m supposed to, Susan, but I don’t. My tax guy said it’s okay as long as I don’t make $100k, and I don’t.

  3. I’m a web contractor, and I’m supposed to make those quarterly payments too. Due to a big chunk of debt, though, I rarely manage to make them. Like you say, it’s permissible below 100k!

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