It’s like total systems failure here. The cell phone towers were down. The laptop blew up. I woke up with a flat tire and frozen lug nuts, and then the battery died too. Now I’m about get kicked out of this internet cafe that’s closing – so enjoy this thing I wrote a while ago and don’t have time to proofread until I get more internet access.
Sometimes women come into strip clubs and get drunk and obnoxious. At my current club, this is allowed as long as they are escorted by a man. If they don’t have a man with them they can’t stay, no matter how well behaved and high tipping they are. This is the twisted logic that ensures that none of the customers are prostitutes.
The other night there was a very loud, very drunk woman in the club. She was accosting customers with her breasts, trying to get naked, and otherwise just being annoying. I did see her get a few dances, tho, so I guess it all evens out.
I was sitting watching Passion, the girl before me, finish up on stage. Her song had ended and she was rushing to pick up all her tips while the DJ talked over the dead air space before my song. He refuses to start the next girls song until the first girl is off stage. Passion scurried to the end of the stage and picked up the dollars there, including one in front of the Very Obnoxious Girl.
“Hey,” VOG yelled, “I wanna see your pussy. Come back here.”
Passion scooped up the rest of her tips from the back of the stage and came down the stairs.
“Show me your pussy! I gave you a fucking dollar I wanna see your fucking pussy!”
I stepped on to the stage and glanced around at the twenty or so guys sitting there, dollars in hand, staring at… the VOG.
She looked around at the customers staring at her. “Hey. Wanna see my boobs?!” She started pulling her shirt up.
I evaluated the situation quickly. Customers. Money. Distracting obnoxious girl fucking with my money.
I walked to the end of the stage and pulled my dress down. She opened her mouth to yell again and I grabbed her passionately by the hair and jiggled my boobs in her face. I gave her a long, lustful look, heavy breathing and all, and then I patted the tip rail. “Where’s your dollars?”
She was speechless. “Um, I gave it to that other girl.”
“Oh.” I pouted like a spoiled rotten heiress, “then go away.”
She turned and walked up to the bar, where she sat sipping her drink quietly for the rest of my stage set.
When I got off stage the bouncer followed me back to the dressing room. “Man, what’d you say to that obnoxious girl? She sure shut the fuck up and sat down for you. I thought I was gonna hafta kick her out.”
“Just boobie power,” I told him.